Pants

It was one of those days...

My bathroom was FREEZING. I hopped across the tiles, with each step sending jolting reminders that I was awake. I turned on the water, then stripped down from the pjs. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. "yikes," wrong move. Too further torture myself I stepped on the scale. Defeated, I opened the shower door. The water didn't get quite warm enough so all the goosebumps lept up on my skin. It could have been the artic blast of cold air that snakes through my house, into the bedroom and a direct shot through the shower door (my house really needs insulation); then cooling the water before it hit my body. My other suspicion (although I have yet to prove it) was that Pete sets the water temp in the water heater lower every time he gets the electric bill. I don't know WHY after 10 years, he just doesn't come to grips that our electric bill is x amount, but he keeps trying new ways every month. I will gladly give him the 10$ he saves to have the temp in the house set on 68 instead of 66-67.

Unsatisfied with my luke warm shower, i quickly washed and jumped out. The towel I dried off with was not quite dry from Pete's use the night before and the fact that my bathroom is a meat locker. Getting even colder by drying off with a wet towel, I lept across the painfully cold tiles to the closet where....

I realized i had nothing to wear. Now Pete had been doing laundry over the last day, evident by the piles of clean laundry that surrounded me on the bed as I slept the night before. Rooting through them, I realized that they were all his clothes and Averys. I didn't have any of my "go-to pants." You know the pants I am talking about... The ones that don't cut into your waist with a button or clasp right at your stomach in the event you scarfed down a bajillion carbs the night before- leaving you more bloated as usual. They don't hike up you underwear as you walk because they are super forgiving. Most likely they are dark in color so that your bottom half "appears" smaller than it really is. Or at least you tell yourself that when you skim your eyes at the mirror (in just enough time it takes to make sure nothing is too out of place).

So I went back to the closet and stared at a rack of pants that which I hold contempt, for one various reason or another. I often think why I do I still have those in my closet? They stare back at me, mocking the last 10 lbs I put on. They know I have no tops that REALLY go with them, they are either too long (understatement) or they are too short. How could any pants be too short for me you ask? Well I bought said pants and they were appoximately 1-2 feet too long (NO exageration there). When you cut a pair of pants in half to hem them to my length, you cut all the shape out of them (insert gaucho's). Not only do I pay the 10 to hem them, I have to pay another 15-20 to reshape them. Most of the time it won't come out right, but it is something to cover up the body to say the least. I wear them once or twice. Semi satisfied that I now have a new pant in the rotation..WHAM, my dryer from HELL shrinks them (because it hates us) even though it was set on EXTRA LOW heat. So a pair of pants that started out 16 inches too long is now about an inch too short. ANY woman knows you wear a pair of pants that is too short in any way, it looks all sorts of wrong. So those pants stay shoved in the back of my closet waiting for the day that I shrink due to old age OR I lose enough belly fat so they fall lower to the floor.

Begrudgingly I put on a pair of evil pants. Find a shirt that is comfy even though it doesn't "quite" match- (but really, I can't have a double whammy today of an uncomfortable shirt AND pants that are too short AND a button that cuts into my waist). I look slightly "off" but I don't care...

I can't take anymore drama so I just go out of the house, grunt goodbye to my husband and leave.

It's colder than I thought it was supposed to be. Leave it up to Georgia to be 25 degrees in the morning, when it is supposed to be 50 in the afternoon. I realize that I am not bundled up enough. But I don't care anymore-I just want to get this over with... I turn my car on and realize the gas light is on.... SIGH

I finally get to work. I am going to stay at my desk. Hide my rediculous outfit under my desk. I may even layer up with the assundry of extra sweaters/scarves I have at my cube because I STILL haven't gotten the chill out of me from my shower this morning. Oh, I just remembered I left my lunch in the fridge at home, so now I have to walk amongst the people to get food later. I will probably be muttering to myself about all of the inconveniences of the morning. I will think people are staring at me because of my "wonky pants" and the "not quite right shirt." I will have forgotten to take off the sweater that matches with nothing and the scarf that should be burned, but it is soft and that's why I like it. It could be that I am muttering to myself with my head down...

I am sure I look homeless or mentally ill. Maybe people will feel sorry for me and make a donation if I carry an empty cup with me...

Then I could buy a new pair of pants.
I wonder what the rest of the day will bring?