Thursday, April 22, 2010

earth day


Happy earth day y'all... 40 years


That is a long time that we have recognized collectively how crappy we have behaved to mother earth. I am going to sound "crunchy" today- so please forgive me. I know that I don't do what I should to contribute to a cleaner earth, I know... at least I can say that I am concious of that. That I feel guilty about it and want to do better...it is a start!


A wonderful friend of mine gave me a earth day goodie this year that you must have! Comes from completely recycled materials, a reusable bag that is like an adjustable sling/messenger bag! It is cleanable/wipable material (recycled bamboo I think) and is adorable! I may use this as a diaper bag for when the baby comes! Because of the affordable price, 12$ and cleanable/ it makes the perfect one and I can be chick to boot. I will have to get a less girly pattern for Pete...whatcha think?


So I commit to you mother earth- my new year's resolution is to produce less waste, eat fresher foods with a smaller carbon footprint. At least be better than last year....

yikes.....

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Laugh as much as you breath and Love as long as you live..

A good friend of mine reminded me of what a slacker I have become with my blog. My apologies, all good intentions I assure you. When looking for inspiration on what to write today… there were so many possibilities. I could go on a lengthy diatribe about the healthcare reform bill. No one would REALLY want to read that, as we all have been suffering through the rantings of those alike on facebook and twitter. No no, I will take the high road on that one as to not alienate the people I love dearly who most certainly not agree with me. I was looking around for some kind of art/craft/collage idea for the baby’s nursery. Sickened by the quotes on babies (I mean really people-go google it if you want a good laugh), I stumbled on some quotes on laughter. A good laugh, the kind that leaves you with a sore stomach, eyes watering and a coughing fit is the most liberating and enjoyable experience in life that is right up there with… a you know. Just by reading a few of these quotes, I realized how integral laughter is for a wonderful life..
A laugh is a smile that bursts.
I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge - myth is more potent than history - dreams are more powerful than facts - hope always triumphs over experience - laughter is the cure for grief - love is stronger than death
Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life
What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul
A smile starts on the lips, A grin spreads to the eyes, A chuckle comes from the belly; But a good laugh bursts forth from the soul, Overflows, and bubbles all around
Laughter is an instant vacation.

Finding people in your life that give you that gift of laughter- are pure gems. Surround yourself with them.. it will ensure a happy life.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

So..this may not be well written, but from the heart.



If you know me... you know we are adopting again. If I am being honest, I am nervous. I have tried to remain super low key about it since we started the process three months ago. But below the surface, I am a mess... We went through the ringer with Avery's adoption. 2 and a half years of drama.
Unless you are Pete or I, it is hard to relate or fathom what it was like. We worried that our son could be taken from us for over 900 days. It was a lot to deal with, taxing on the soul and mind. I am not going to lie. I am so glad that Pete and I made it through it in one piece. There were days that I worried that it would ruin our marriage. It changed both of us, I hope for the better- but I am not always so sure. I do know that it tested my faith, and I did leave it in God's hands even on days where I daydreamed of taking my family and run...and I am grateful every day that he allowed us to keep this glorious gift- Avery.



Maybe it was 900 days of fighting for him, I don't know.. but I beleieve that Avery is so special. He has the sweetest and kindest soul. He is gentle. Laid back and really funny. Smart. And he is beautiful (I can say that because I did not contribute to his DNA- so I am not offhandly complimenting myself). Green eyes, olive skin, dark curly hair, long eye lashes and full lips. He will most likely be tall and have an athletic body.. Avery definately lucked out in the genes category- But it is his thoughtful and tender nature that makes me know he will grow up to be a wonderful person.



I hope in his life time he knows that we love him so much that it chokes me in my throat. That I am willing to do anything to protect him. That I love him unconditionally. And that I thank God every day that I am allowed to bear witness of his life and that I was assigned to watch over this amazing creature.



We are excited about being parents again and to give Avery a sibling. Nervous to the core-which is not in my nature. Praying to God that it is easy and smooth this time around. Because if I am being honest with my self, the battle scars from the first time around have never completely healed. A year later, it is still pretty raw.

I am beyond words and thankful for those people around me- friends and family for rooting for us. For caring enough to ask how are things going. For all the encouraging words and for being excited for our new adventure. It is those words and prayers that are restoring us and building up our strength so we can take this on again...

Friday, February 26, 2010

Need an exorcism stat!




We have had this unholy germ haven in our household for way too long.

ITS REDICULOUS! We have spent countless hours scrubbing every door handle, bannisters, countertops with an assundry of lysol type stuff. Nothing is working! We keep passing it around between the three of us like a hot potato.


So.. I haven't blogged lately... will try better next week

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Ode to Joe

This morning as I was driving to work, Bad to the bone came on the radio. The first chords - Na na na na nah of the guitar makes me think of my dad. I know, I know that is completely random.

One of my favorite memories of my Dad, was at my wedding.. it was Joe's birthday. My sister Suzie gave a birthday shout out to him and dedicated this song to Dad. Still random, and I don't know why she picked it. But Dad got out on the dance floor and cut a major rug with Suzie giving Jon Travolta a run for his money. When Joe is goofing off a bit, he usually twists his mouth up in the corner as if a great big laugh is going to spill out. It never does, just a twinkle in the eye and a contorted mouth is all you will find.

The song on the radio made me think of my Dad. It's hard to summarize a person in a few sentances. Mostly skewed from my point of you..here are some of my thoughts about Joe.

My Dad is a pretty quiet guy on most days. But if you get him in a group of people, he becomes chatty cathy. The family is mostly in awe of this, especially my Mom who can't get two words out of the guy. So to sum it up, he is pretty quiet around his family but a chatterbox around all others. I would say a trait I sometimes take after. I wonder if it is because he is living in his head like me.

Joe is really smart. I used to HATE as a teenager when he got involved in an arguement. He wouldn't say much, when he did, he was probably right. It is something I have always admired and often seek out his opinion on things. Mostly because I like the way he arrives at things. I think I have taken after some of his common sense way of thinking and decisiveness while at work. I am proud of that.

He loves my Mom fiercely. I doubt he ever tells her that. Frankly he probably barks at her most of the time. But no one could say a bad word about her in his presence. He is always trying to protect her. He takes no credit for the way we came out as adults, he leaves all the glory up to her. He is proud of her for it. He shows his love in his loyalty, making sure she has a drink and not complaining too much at the Talbots bill.

He appreciates his kids and all their differences. He is proud of us. You can tell by the way he talks about Suzie, Kevin and myself. Not to us you see, but to other people. He proudly rotates the college sweatshirts so that not any is particularly favored. I know he is proud of how smart Suzie is, a fact she often forgets. How well she did in school. He shares her wit and thinks she is a great Mom. He is proud of Kevin and all of his accomplishments. He thinks that Kevin is a great father too. Me, he got a kick out of when I did well in golf growing up, as it is a hobby he shared. I guess he is proud of my artistic ability. Dad was often roped into a project I had. Often shaking his head in bewilderment at my latest creation, but admitedly appreciated the idea behind it.

Dad really really likes our spouses. He talks with Brad most weekends about groceries, sports or wine. He sent Karen envelopes with stamps so he could get pictures of the grandkids and big packs of post-its. A gift that was perfect for Karen and probably meant alot to her. Dad likes to school Pete on things, it's what he does.

Dad is a sucker for his grandchildren.

My Dad has a good sense of humor. A little sarcastic at times, but he loves a good laugh. He can be goofy too. When I was a kid, he wrote me a card that went with valentines chocolates I had got from him. It was on loose leaf paper folded in fours and it said, "Roses are red, violets are purple.... your as sweet as maple surple." I still have that card...

One year for christmas, my dad had someone in his office take a picture of him (prior to digital cameras). It looked like a photo for an idea badge. He was barely smiling. He picked out a small frame, cut out a double mat for it made out of card stock. The mat had angled corners and was very precise. He put that picture of himself in it and gave it to my Mom for christmas. It was too cute.

He may complain and grumble, but if any of his kids ask for help with a project- he does it with such love and precision if it is a doll armoire to a deck. Dad is always there to help with a painting project, usually spouting off advice that is never forgotton even when you didn't want to hear it at the time.

On the day I moved into my house, he showed up with a bucket, a flashlight, duct tape, string and wire. Dad said anything I needed done, could be solved with any of the above. And..you never know when you'll need some string.

They have been more generous with me that i can never show my appreciation enough. If I won the lottery, I would build them a beautiful ranch home on a lake-with a killer woodworking shop on the back.

Memories of my Dad from my childhood were vague. His car smelled of aftershave and tic-tacs. He was usually up on the roof patching something, shoveling snow or fixing the yard after I had mowed it. I remember the year he had a battle with a chipmunk who often mocked him through the family room window. He would get my brother's bb gun, but always missed. If we had a crab feast, he would spend a long time after the family left picking out the meat of the remaining crab so we could have crabcakes the next day.

Dad likes golf, magic tricks, miller lite, a good wine and a good crossword puzzle. His yard is meticulous and he grows some killer tomatos. Dad goes to the grocery store almost every day in his retirement. At the beach, he will build a sandcar for the kids every year without fail. Dad is practical. He's dabbled in some painting from time to time- Bob Ross is a personal hero of his. Dad likes John Wayne and patsy cline, but a good toe tapping tune will get him going. He is a pretty smooth dancer. I love to dance to Frank Sinatra-old style with my Dad. I will miss it when he can't do that anymore.

Mostly I think of my Dad as a generous, loyal, kind, cantancerous at times, smart and funny guy. I love him and I am proud to call him Dad.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Pants

It was one of those days...

My bathroom was FREEZING. I hopped across the tiles, with each step sending jolting reminders that I was awake. I turned on the water, then stripped down from the pjs. I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. "yikes," wrong move. Too further torture myself I stepped on the scale. Defeated, I opened the shower door. The water didn't get quite warm enough so all the goosebumps lept up on my skin. It could have been the artic blast of cold air that snakes through my house, into the bedroom and a direct shot through the shower door (my house really needs insulation); then cooling the water before it hit my body. My other suspicion (although I have yet to prove it) was that Pete sets the water temp in the water heater lower every time he gets the electric bill. I don't know WHY after 10 years, he just doesn't come to grips that our electric bill is x amount, but he keeps trying new ways every month. I will gladly give him the 10$ he saves to have the temp in the house set on 68 instead of 66-67.

Unsatisfied with my luke warm shower, i quickly washed and jumped out. The towel I dried off with was not quite dry from Pete's use the night before and the fact that my bathroom is a meat locker. Getting even colder by drying off with a wet towel, I lept across the painfully cold tiles to the closet where....

I realized i had nothing to wear. Now Pete had been doing laundry over the last day, evident by the piles of clean laundry that surrounded me on the bed as I slept the night before. Rooting through them, I realized that they were all his clothes and Averys. I didn't have any of my "go-to pants." You know the pants I am talking about... The ones that don't cut into your waist with a button or clasp right at your stomach in the event you scarfed down a bajillion carbs the night before- leaving you more bloated as usual. They don't hike up you underwear as you walk because they are super forgiving. Most likely they are dark in color so that your bottom half "appears" smaller than it really is. Or at least you tell yourself that when you skim your eyes at the mirror (in just enough time it takes to make sure nothing is too out of place).

So I went back to the closet and stared at a rack of pants that which I hold contempt, for one various reason or another. I often think why I do I still have those in my closet? They stare back at me, mocking the last 10 lbs I put on. They know I have no tops that REALLY go with them, they are either too long (understatement) or they are too short. How could any pants be too short for me you ask? Well I bought said pants and they were appoximately 1-2 feet too long (NO exageration there). When you cut a pair of pants in half to hem them to my length, you cut all the shape out of them (insert gaucho's). Not only do I pay the 10 to hem them, I have to pay another 15-20 to reshape them. Most of the time it won't come out right, but it is something to cover up the body to say the least. I wear them once or twice. Semi satisfied that I now have a new pant in the rotation..WHAM, my dryer from HELL shrinks them (because it hates us) even though it was set on EXTRA LOW heat. So a pair of pants that started out 16 inches too long is now about an inch too short. ANY woman knows you wear a pair of pants that is too short in any way, it looks all sorts of wrong. So those pants stay shoved in the back of my closet waiting for the day that I shrink due to old age OR I lose enough belly fat so they fall lower to the floor.

Begrudgingly I put on a pair of evil pants. Find a shirt that is comfy even though it doesn't "quite" match- (but really, I can't have a double whammy today of an uncomfortable shirt AND pants that are too short AND a button that cuts into my waist). I look slightly "off" but I don't care...

I can't take anymore drama so I just go out of the house, grunt goodbye to my husband and leave.

It's colder than I thought it was supposed to be. Leave it up to Georgia to be 25 degrees in the morning, when it is supposed to be 50 in the afternoon. I realize that I am not bundled up enough. But I don't care anymore-I just want to get this over with... I turn my car on and realize the gas light is on.... SIGH

I finally get to work. I am going to stay at my desk. Hide my rediculous outfit under my desk. I may even layer up with the assundry of extra sweaters/scarves I have at my cube because I STILL haven't gotten the chill out of me from my shower this morning. Oh, I just remembered I left my lunch in the fridge at home, so now I have to walk amongst the people to get food later. I will probably be muttering to myself about all of the inconveniences of the morning. I will think people are staring at me because of my "wonky pants" and the "not quite right shirt." I will have forgotten to take off the sweater that matches with nothing and the scarf that should be burned, but it is soft and that's why I like it. It could be that I am muttering to myself with my head down...

I am sure I look homeless or mentally ill. Maybe people will feel sorry for me and make a donation if I carry an empty cup with me...

Then I could buy a new pair of pants.
I wonder what the rest of the day will bring?

Monday, February 15, 2010

A new resolution for the year...

People come in and out of your life. Some times it's like a gentle ebb and flow of the tide, other times it comes crashing down like a tsunami wave. I was thinking the other day, that we are often sad or angry when people flow out of your life and a lot of emotions surround that act as you think "what did I do? am I not important to them?" all things that you may not want to come to terms with. You never want to believe that you were being used or were a friend out of convenience. Have you ever asked yourself, "Did they fall out of my life because I didn't make the effort?"

I have always had a hard time saying no. It is something that my husband, friends and family have gotten on me about. I think it may be my personality to give. I do get a good feeling out of it and that's why I do it. However, often times than not, I walk away feeling a little used. I know, I know..I put myself in that position so I have only myself to blame...
This year, I am making an effort to change a few things... growing up I suppose!

I want to be the person who appreciates the people in my life who make an effort to be in it. Whether or not I am doing something for them! I understand with the merry-go-round that we are on, it is not always easy or it's hard to find the time for each other. I want to put an effort into those people who make an effort with our relationship, appreciate me as a friend and all that comes with it, to those folks-- I am making a concious effort to tell you I love you. To reach out and spend time with you and be there for you when ever you need me.

Stop being a people pleasure (yikes, that's harder than a atkins dieter sitting in front of a buffet of french fries and donuts)! I want to learn to say no! It is so easy for toddlers to do it, so why can't I? That is a hard one for me, but I am going to try.

To those people who aren't present in this year, in this life: I am going to appreciate and remember all of the good things about you and our time together. I hope there comes a time where we flow back into each other's lives again- until then, enjoy your journey!

Friday, February 12, 2010

It's magic..

So it is actually snowing in the great state of Georgia! It is nothing like my friends and family up in Maryland that have 5 FEET of heavenly goodness, but it is something. I was up in my bedroom and Avery came running up saying "It's snowing, it's snowing! Everytime I dreamed about this and it came true! Now it's christmastime." Ok, so he was slightly let down when I explained that snow and christmas were not always synonomous..but let's make a moment out of it. So I cajoled him into cuddling into bed with me. We opened up the blinds and layed in bed watching the snow fall. Then we made up songs about snow. Avery let me know that my songs weren't that special (I think he meant original). We talked about the possibility of snow angels and snowpeople. It maybe only lasted 20 mins as most things go with children. But for a few beats, there were moments of silent just in appreciation of the beauty of it all. Then Avery whispered to me... "it's magic Mommy." I got a little choked up because I couldn't agree more..

New Things


Avery is three and in preschool for the first time. So when he brought home from school an announcement about a valentines party at his school I was excited for him! He was instructed to bring valentines for everyone in his class..Needless to say I had visions of making homemade yummies like the image above... but alas we went to the store and he was just DRAWN to Buzz Lightyear premade cards that had lollipops in them. I tried my hardest to change his mine, then had an epiphony- it was his project and i was attempting to take over! My Dad used to do that to us growing up (even though half the time I did not mind at all-thanks dad!) so I bit my tongue and bought the ones he wanted.
It was really darling watching him as he clutched so tightly to those valentines the whole way through the store. Avery didn't want to let them go to even for us to pay for them. He held them to his chest the whole way in the car and ran into the house excitedly and opened them up straight away. He thoughtfully picked out a different style for each of his friends. Aaron needed to get the one with the green aliens, Woody and Buzz went to Justin and the one with Jessie the cowgirl and Woody went thoughtfully to Megan. I even let him put the lollipops in the slot and hung back while he did the whole thing (major control factor on my part if I do say so my self). My heart filled with pride. Avery was so happy, content and proud of himself; that no craft project could out do that feeling (even if it was made with the coolest scrapbook paper I have upstairs or that it would have definately been the most unique valentine in the class). All that mattered in the end was how happy my little boy was....sigh, they grow up so fast..and so do we.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Umm...

I couldn't begin to tell you what this will be about...I do have a bit of ADD about me so, I am sure it will be as random as my thoughts. It has always been a goal of mine to write a book, and i figured it would be good practice to start with a blog. If I can't stick with this than what makes me think I can write a whole book????