So..this may not be well written, but from the heart.

If you know me... you know we are adopting again. If I am being honest, I am nervous. I have tried to remain super low key about it since we started the process three months ago. But below the surface, I am a mess... We went through the ringer with Avery's adoption. 2 and a half years of drama.
Unless you are Pete or I, it is hard to relate or fathom what it was like. We worried that our son could be taken from us for over 900 days. It was a lot to deal with, taxing on the soul and mind. I am not going to lie. I am so glad that Pete and I made it through it in one piece. There were days that I worried that it would ruin our marriage. It changed both of us, I hope for the better- but I am not always so sure. I do know that it tested my faith, and I did leave it in God's hands even on days where I daydreamed of taking my family and run...and I am grateful every day that he allowed us to keep this glorious gift- Avery.

Maybe it was 900 days of fighting for him, I don't know.. but I beleieve that Avery is so special. He has the sweetest and kindest soul. He is gentle. Laid back and really funny. Smart. And he is beautiful (I can say that because I did not contribute to his DNA- so I am not offhandly complimenting myself). Green eyes, olive skin, dark curly hair, long eye lashes and full lips. He will most likely be tall and have an athletic body.. Avery definately lucked out in the genes category- But it is his thoughtful and tender nature that makes me know he will grow up to be a wonderful person.

I hope in his life time he knows that we love him so much that it chokes me in my throat. That I am willing to do anything to protect him. That I love him unconditionally. And that I thank God every day that I am allowed to bear witness of his life and that I was assigned to watch over this amazing creature.

We are excited about being parents again and to give Avery a sibling. Nervous to the core-which is not in my nature. Praying to God that it is easy and smooth this time around. Because if I am being honest with my self, the battle scars from the first time around have never completely healed. A year later, it is still pretty raw.

I am beyond words and thankful for those people around me- friends and family for rooting for us. For caring enough to ask how are things going. For all the encouraging words and for being excited for our new adventure. It is those words and prayers that are restoring us and building up our strength so we can take this on again...